Sunday, March 6, 2011

Invasion of Lewis Carroll

"The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings.  And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings."

I have no idea why this quote from Through the Looking Glass, by Lewis Carroll is running through my brain, but I figured it must be for a reason, and so brought it out into the open.  Nonsense verse is so difficult to write and he did it so effortlessly.  And while that is a very intellectually correct thing to say about the verse, it really has nothing to do with why it may be in the front of my brain.

While i consider myself an armchair intellectual, I do not hide behind fifty cent words and use them to change the meaning of a conversation, unless it's for humor, and so when I 'speak of many things' they tend to be up front and blunt.  And I can only assume that this is on my mind because I may feel a need to 'speak of many things"  And I tend to take a very, very, very long time in deciding when the right time might be to speak of them, if at all.

Being a blunt person does not mean I want to hurt feelings, quite the contrary.  I understand that most people can't handle the truth, and go to great lengths to hide from it.  I even let them, most of the time.  Sometimes by  drowning themselves in booze or drugs or self destructive physical behaviors.  And giving the excuse that they just needed a 'break' or to 'cut loose' or 'never believing it would happen to them' and not seeing the effects or the consequences of their actions.  Not only on their own lives, which lets face it, honestly, most of us are only concerned with our own lives and how if effects us.  But on the lives of others. On the feelings of others.  How many people have you destroyed or made bitter by a senseless act of selfishness?  Or worse, have you even asked yourself how many hearts YOU have broken before you wallow and lament upon your own broken heart?  Perhaps it's once again too painful to realize so you look the other way, you pretend that you never hurt anyone, because they never cared to begin with.  Which we know isn't true. 

I use to be this person, many, many, (I hate to tell you how many) years ago.  But it's one thing I've finally learned about life and love and all of emotions that pull and push us toward and away from each other.  You can fight it all you want, you can even try to convince yourself  "how to feel" for whatever reason.  But I tell you this now as a friend from the cold, dark net. . . You can't hide from what you are, feel or believe.  It will be apparent.  You may think you are doing a great job in hiding your feelings and emotions.  You may even be so good at it that you think everyone is fooled.  But really you are the only one being fooled.  You have convinced yourself that your 'image' of yourself is what everyone else sees.  But really, the people that truly love you and respect you, have seen who you really are all along.  And the big secret. . . .

. . . they love you anyway.

So quite hiding from yourself.   Look at all your shoes, and ships and sealing wax.  Speak of your cabbages and kings.  and if your life is in the boiling sea, remember pigs have wings.


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