Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas vs New Years

Half of the holiday is finished, the Christmas part where we get together as family and friends and wish each other a happy holiday.  And for the most part this year I found myself in utter joy, with my friends and family.  Sure I didn't get the chance to see everyone I would have liked to see, but I did get messages from almost everyone.  I found myself only slightly missing my mom this year, and it was a fond wishing she could have been alive to see the wonderful woman her granddaughter has grown into, and meet her current boyfriend and his family.  And of course there is one other who I missed, who crossed my mind with every toast to missing friends, and loved ones.  And it is this ghost that haunts me the most, as the next half of the season fast approaches.  The New Years Eve part.  Where we get together with that special someone and kiss and hold each other and wish for a good new year together.

I hate this part of the season as much as I hate Valentines day.  And yes I only hate it because I'm bitter that I'm alone.  And it seems like I'm alone every year for this holiday since 1985 or so.  And that's not because I have been single that long.  Its just that even in marriage or relationships, somehow, this holiday always finds me alone.  Either my relationships ended just prior to it, making me in effect single during it, or my husband, at the time worked it .

Not one to wallow in my sadness (I know this blog had some wallowing in it, but take that as me going through my own 'crazy girl brain' - see earlier post titled "Crazy Girl Brain vs Stupid Boy Brain" -for clarification on this highly contagious illness)  anyway I'm not usually a 'wallowing feel sorry for me girl'.  And not to be one around my small children I developed a tradition of watching movies with them while waiting for their dad to come home.  The immediate favorite with my young son at the time, he was six when i started this, was Heavy Metal.  Which made me smile as it was a favorite of ours as teenagers.  He loved it so much that it became a holiday tradition.  To watch Heavy Metal at some point in time on New Years Eve.  Then his little sister was born and as she grew up she watched with us.  As my son got older but not quite old enough to drink his friends wanting something to do, would come to our house to watch it as well.  My daughters friends are not as into spending time with me as my sons were, except for her current boyfriend and his family.  And he has not seen it.  HUM.  I'm sensing that something might need to be done to continue the tradition this year.  Hopefully I can corral them for a couple of hours.  If not, I can always turn on my TV and be reminded of my friends long gone, and lovers not beside me but alive in my heart, and hope they have the same fondness of me.

Don't let this 'romantic' holiday get you down.  Start a new tradition.  Call out to a friend.  But do not be sucked into the feeling that you are alone, ever.  You are not.  If you are reading this, You Are NOT alone.  I'm right there with you.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Ideas Vs Opinions

Friday night I was struck with the real reason why I don't  usually enjoy debating or talking about deep subjects with other people.  And contrary to what you may think if you know me personally it's NOT because I am hard to convince or opinionated.  (I will concede that I am both these things, but I am not immovable.  I have been known to change my mind if you can state your opinion in a way that makes me think of an idea.)

With that being said, the real reason is that most people just opine, over and over and over.  They complain about, their broken hearts (guilty) or the state of affairs, or what the neighbors are doing or not doing, or how their thoughts are 'right' and 'correct' and should be adopted and wonder why the rest of the world is so far behind 'them'.

Which is. . .well . . .okay I guess.  It's a start, I mean.

But the idea that comes after the opinion.  The spark that could change the world view and make the opinion real, there is where we all really should be.  You can't have an idea without an opinion, but you sure can have an opinion without an idea.  Or perhaps even better said:  A person who worries is the person who only sees the problem.  A concerned person is the person who sees the solution.  And this is not the frame of mind or attitude I see most people in.  To state an opinion and then shoot down almost automatically all ideas generated by that opinion is a person that just wants to hear themselves talk.  And we all really know what to do with that person, don't we?

So my grand IDEA is the following:  Let's try not to voice our opinion without the idea to solve it quickly on its heels.  Or at least an honest call for help in welcoming other people's ideas in solving said opinion.

End Transmission.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Christmas wish from me and someone very special

Our family got together this year and decided no presents for Christmas.  Like most of America money is tight and while our family is small we figured trying to see each other was more important then a gift to open.  And at first this made me sad, almost like I was some kind of failure because I couldn't afford to celebrate a holiday I really don't believe in anyway, but have always done so in the past for tradition and as a great excuse to get everyone together.  (see pagan roots of Christmas and winter solstice and that Christ was probably born in the autumn/some say summer, if you don't believe that this is a commercial holiday only now.  In fact most all the things you use to decorate your home with unless they are religious are from pagan roots for the solstice. . . but  I digress)

I'm seriously considering giving my kids something I already own that I know they would love, a white elephant if you will, one of my best friends is accepting something like that from me this year and he actually seems excited about it.  Go figure.   But the best holiday wish I have gotten so far this year was in the form of a letter.  It was from another best friends daughter, who is somewhere between 7 and 8 and while I try not to name names, (JANA) her letter was so beautiful and so honest, as only a young person can be, and it reminded me that what this season and every season is about is LOVE.  And reminding our loved ones, weather near or far, how much we love them and miss them in our lives.  And how they are always with us, in our hearts.

But she said it much better than I ever could.  So to all of you that I love and care about and may not get to see this year or many years from now, or maybe never again:
         "I miss you were ever I go.  I miss you vary much.  I love you too!  (insert name here) I want you to be at my hous rite now!  I miss you vary much and thats ok.  Wen I go noth I feel sad becuse I am going the opisit way.  I want you because you are far away but not in my hart."

See told you she said it best.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. —Wilson Mizner

Most of you probably have a facebook account and most of you have probably seen the post to change your profile picture to a picture of a cartoon to raise awareness for the abuse of children in the hopes that raising awareness will make it stop. The goal to not have a human face profile picture on facebook until after Monday Dec 6th.

Yesterday an old and what I believed to be a tolerant friend of mine from high school, wrote a blog on the christian evils of doing just this. She sited scripture and verse as most holier than thou christians do. The verse she chose was the one about doing charity in a boastful way instead of keeping your good works secret. And she then went on to BLAST and INSULT the intelligence and good natured feelings of everyone who had done this. Saying that we were a bunch of Internet lemmings if we thought that changing a picture would stop child abuse or raise any awareness.  She even blasted the waring of ribbons etc to raise awareness and I actually think that some of those things do.

Do I think that wearing a yellow ribbon will bring the armed forces home sooner?  NO.  Do I believe that changing my picture to a cartoon will stop child abuse.  Of course not..  Do I think that standing up for gay rights will make them happen?  Probably not.  But do I believe that standing up for my opinions might raise awareness.  YOU BET I DO.  All it takes is one person.  Her god taught that.  But apparently she didn't listen to that lesson.  

Well I was appalled. HOW DARE she assume that if a person changed their picture they were only doing it for public acknowledgement! How DARE she assume that people that changed their picture stopped there. . .and didn't or aren't doing good works that only they know about.  HOW DARE she judge us lest she be judged.  HA.  (Preachers you!)

I de-friended her, and one other friend that only posts scripture and I'm insulted.  I'd link the blog here but I don't want it to get any more hits.  I'd even give you her name so you can find her and tell her how wonderful the world is now that she is here to tell us all how god wants us to be.  What have we done without her.  But I don't think her ego needs anymore help.

Keep standing up for what you believe in, tell one other person what you think, and you might change their mind for the better.  Keep up the good work that makes you feel good about yourself and makes you a better person.  And I beg you, don't give god the credit, nor yourself.  Just do the work.