Sunday, October 2, 2011

Women Who Seek to be Equal With Men, Lack Ambition-Timothy Leary

What a great quote to start my week!  I am in a mostly male profession, selling insurance, and I'm the newbie.  So I am competing with men who have been doing this for decades.  And one of them is in the top five in our state and the other is number three in the nation on top of that.  So lets just say the competition is fierce.  We have our own territories...but lets be frank, they know people, and will not care where they are to get their goals.  And I guess neither do I.  And with all the competitive nature of this business I find myself trying to actually beat men for the first time in my life.  No I'm not a feminist, in fact most of the feminists that have spoken to me scare me...a lot.  But I do believe, with equal training, I can do anything a man can do, within reason.  Obviously I'm not as strong and never will be, so discounting anything requiring strength....I'm still of the opinion I should try.  So I am trying to be equal with these men....but is that the right thing to do?

Shouldn't I be trying to beat my personal goals, and make those goals as lofty as theirs?  Shouldn't I set my goals ahead of them, and have my record be the one to beat?  Shouldn't I set the standard and have them want to be equal with me?  It is possible, after all, anything is possible, if you want it bad enough, and then try to get it.  Activity and Action are what is needed.

Activity and action are not a problem in my life.  When I see someone or something I want, I usually go after it, without question, and without knowing much about it.  I'm a very verbal and visual that first off I'm attracted to what you say, and after that how you look.  Although I have to admit that the visual is usually the first thing that makes me, well....look... but after eye contact if what comes out of your mouth makes me cringe, the visual becomes less appealing by leaps and bounds.  This action helps me in my profession and in my life, as I'm a great listener, and can usually turn quite a phrase, and get people to listen to what I'm selling.

I've noticed this in my business life AND in my personal life.  When dealing with trying to convince my kids to 'do the right thing' or 'what they should be doing'  or with friends who are having difficult times or difficult pulls and pushes of their emotions.  They will come to me for advice, why?  I think it's because of my ability to 'sell' them the right conclusion for their problem.  Sometimes I use props, like tarot cards, or wine, or tequila, or a movie.  Sometimes I just hang out and listen.  But usually I'm never disappointed in what my friends or children choose to do after they have shared a problem with me.  I'm not completely successful in this.  Those of you who have been following this blog from the beginning will no doubt come up with one glaring disappointment, one man I wasn't able to convince to buy what I was selling.  But, his choice ended up being the right one...for now.  And I couldn't be happier for them...for now.

When I look back on my life I realize that nothing lasts forever and nothing is permanent.  So I do a lot of waiting and watching and listening.  I learn more from what you don't say than what you say, sometimes.  And I'm good at probing until I find the button that makes your lies fall away and the truth come out.  And not lies you tell to me, lies you tell to yourself.

So I've decided instead of trying to be equal with all the men in my life, I'm going to set the standard.  I'm going to have more ambition, and strive for my own personal greatness and see what life throws at me then.  I'm sure it will be another man that I'll try to be equal with, before I realize he came to me to become equal with me....but we all learn at our own pace.


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