Sunday, October 30, 2011

Caring Too Much

And again one of my friends has given me the quote for my blog this week.  She said, "sometimes watching people you care for hurt is even worse than being hurt yourself. i care... too much."  I immediately saw myself in this revelation, and advised her to detach....sometimes we have to detach from others burdens, no matter how much we care about the person, we just can't keep watching, or listening.  Sometimes we just care too much to hear it over and over again, and have nothing changing.

I think we can all relate to this.  We have at one point in our lives been this person that rambles on and on about the same problem in their life but does nothing to fix that problem.  Or worse can't see a solution.  I know I have been that person, and am sometimes still, depending on the topic.  (see blog)   ;)

However with that said, most of us can also relate to the other side of this the friend with the two ears to listen, two shoulders to cry on, and if necessary a couple of arms to hold you with.  This is what separates your real friends from the ones that just don't get you.  Your real friends, no matter how much they may be sick and tired of you making the same mistakes, are still there for you when you crash and burn.  And thank the FSM that they are.  Because without them, you might not learn from the mistakes.  I have a real need to 'talk things out' when I've crashed and burned.....boy do I talk them to death.  And I know I tax my friends patience.  But I learn from that too.  I know they love me and I know they care, and when I've gone too far they tell me.  Do I listen?  You bet I do.  Does it appear that I've listened?.....sometimes not, because I still might need to talk, or cry, or be held.

I guess the best thing to remember is this, everyone heals differently, and everyone has had a shitty life with some really bad stuff happening to them.  Not everyones 'baggage' fits together.  And even though, as a friend, you may think your friend is crazy for still doing this to themselves, because YOU certainly wouldn't......STOP right there.  Because this is where true wisdom comes into play.....YOU can't know that for sure, because YOUR experience is not on the other side of this.....well, you might just need them in this capacity someday, and you'll be glad that you were there for them when they needed you.

I think real friendship can be summed up in this quote, "People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others."  As friends, when we listen, this is what we do, we alleviate suffering.  So pull up a chair, grab a box of tissue, if necessary, and LISTEN.  You won't be sorry in the end.  Because of your guidance, and support, your friends will find their way, and be there for you when you need it.

cheers, breathe deeply, and smile

1 comment:

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