Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Return of the Jedi

"NEVER say never."  I do you know.  I'm just like the rest of you.  I have many times in regards to many situations and people and I guess I'll never learn that it's so true.  NEVER say never.  It is the one thing that Fate will bite you on the ass with.

For example:  I have said, sadly and with much regret, "I guess I'll never speak to him again."  And truly felt it would be the end of things.  And as has happened in the past with others, that person PINGS back into my life, quite unexpectedly and completely without preamble or ulterior motive.  And this glorious event happened last Saturday night.  And let me tell you, it was a very surreal experience.

My #3 husband was down for a visit with his daughter, and as all of you know we are still pretty good friends, as good a friends as exes can be, I guess.  Most would say we should teach a class on how to divorce and remain friends, (actually his daughter would probably say I should teach the class as she doesn't like the way he treats me, but I digress)  Mr. Selfish (husband #3) will always be who he is and I stopped trying to change him years ago.  In fact he was the one man in my life that proved to me that you can't change people and that's not love.  And most of you know, long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, that during our whirlwind get together from friends to a couple, husband #2 (affectionately known as Darth Vader) was burned.  HARD-CORE, by two of his closest Jedi friends.  (that's actually a pretty good pun considering Anakin was friends............stop groaning...)    And since I was the bad-guy (don't let them lie to you and say there are never any bad guys or good guys in a break up. . . there are, and while it does take two to argue, it usually only takes one to fuck up)  Anyway, long story short, I figured I'd never hear from Darth again. . . . how wrong I was.

While husband #3 was sleeping on my couch, I was logged into facebook to see what I had missed during his visit and I find a facebook message of friendship from Darth.  WOW.  after 24 years and one quick apology and communication about 10 years ago. .  . he has finally joined the rest of us, well most of us, two are still missing and Mr. Selfish 'has no time for facebook'  go figure.  Darth has joined husband #1 (Miss Joey Jermain) and me on facebook.

Now when I saw this message it was short, sweet and guaranteed to make me respond.  I will not share it with you because you couldn't possibly understand the power of the dark side.  Of course I responded, and am happy to say when  I suggested that he have his wife add me, she did within 30 minutes of our new beginning.  This made me happier than you can possibly imagine.  A man from my past without any motive other than missing me and wanting to catch up.  How refreshing was that?  No drama, where there certainly could have been.  Just a greatly missed, extended hand from the past, into the future, from the web's void.
Now what makes it so surreal.....husband #3 is sleeping on my couch, I'm talking and instructing husband #2 in his privacy settings so he can add me, and of course while all this is going on I'm writing on husband #1's wall "guess who just found me?" and having an on line chat with my secret long distance crush.  And I thought I was full of love and good feelings about myself last weekend.  Wow.  I'm not ever going to say never again.  And this fills me with such hope. . . . (A new hope. . .....okay I'll stop now).

You truly don't know what your life is going to be until it is over.  You may think you are down when in reality you are on an upswing.  My life took a turn for the worse last Wednesday, and this blog was going to be about how wronged I felt I had been by losing my job (actually I didn't lose it, I KNOW exactly WHERE IT IS.....thanks K-Space and American Beauty) But I understand now exactly where that kind of negative thinking will get me.

Am I okay, mentally and personality wise, HELL YES.  Financially, for a little while now I will be....Am I worried about money, you bet, what adult wouldn't be.  But I have a plan, I've implemented it and I'm doing all I can do, and will do all I can to find a new job.  Wish me luck, or as Darth would say, "May the Force be with you."

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