Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Best Advice of Mice and Men

"Just get over it already."
"Try to live your life and move on."
"You deserve better."
"Your weakest state is about 20% stronger than everyone else, I know you'll make it."
"Aren't you tired of feeling this way?
"This behavior is not good for you. . . You should just stop."

All great advice, but my query is How?

They say you only ask advice from friends that you are assured you will get the answers you want.  Interesting, because thats not the case in my story.  I hate advice like the above, because I've already come to those conclusions on my own.  What I'm looking for is the HOW of it.  HOW do you 'just get over it' or 'move on' or believe you 'deserve better' than what you know you need, want and love?  It doesn't help to hear that you are strong and can do it, when you believe you are at your weakest and have tried everything, either.  That's when the voices start.  You know, the ones in your head that tell you you are doomed, undeserving, and alone for a reason.

Lately in my stumbling upon quotes I ran across this one right after a brilliant animation on 'Thought of You" which I would share with you right here, but I'm not sure the link will post, but i'll try.  Here goes:
(I thought of three very different men from my past while watching this, from three different decades.)80's, 90's and this one . . hum. . . put your thinking caps on all my best friends out there.  I KNOW you will come to the correct answers if you feel instead of think)
The quote was as follows:
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.  So love the people that treat you right, and forget the ones that don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason.  If you get a chance take it!  If it changes your life let it!  NOBODY SAID IT WOULD BE EASY, THEY JUST PROMISED IT WOULD BE WORTH IT!"-Anonymous

I really like that Anonymous chick.  Anyway.  I believe that quote, and maybe that is why my friends think I'm strong.  I have done that.  Let life change my life on what others might perceive as a whim, or a CHANCE, an opportunity.  And I've always preached that life was too short to regret.  Yet my life is full of them. . .regrets.  Most not what I've done, but the lost opportunities of not acting quickly enough or pushing away out of a real fear to be truly happy or believe that the love standing in front of me, was real.  The 'How could it happen to me and be real' fallacy.  I'm sure you've felt that too, and run just as quickly.  You might not think that you ran, but if you think back you might be able to see the moment in time where you convinced yourself that it would never work before you even gave it a chance.  I know I've done that twice before, once in the 80's and once in the 90's and I regret both of them very much to this day.  NOT the men. . . the act of me pushing them away.  So far away from me that one I will never find again, and the other can't seem to communicate with me much at all anymore, even though we try on occasion on line to at least have small talk.  Which I think is painful to us both it being so far removed from where we were as lovers.

Its true. .  friendship can often bloom into love, but love once tasted, can never fade back into friendship.  I suppose we are an example of that loss.  And again I must live with my choices.
As we all do.
As we all try to do.
Which brings me back to my original query. . .

1 comment:

  1. Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
    Men were deceivers ever,
    One foot in sea and one on shore,
    To one thing constant never:
    Then sigh not so, but let them go,
    And be you blithe and bonny,
    Converting all your sounds of woe
    Into Hey nonny, nonny.
    (Much Ado About Nothing-William Shakespeare