Sunday, June 6, 2010

Rock Bottom? Then Why Am I Happy?

This is going to start off sounding like a typical rant, but believe me, it's not. I got some very unsettling news on Friday that cost me a job, and while I have no control over this situation, like most situations that really upset me. I am going to try to get to the bottom of it next week. While I go back to looking for more work. This did get me to thinking about not only myself but others in the world right now who are unemployed, or underemployed, from this recession. This is not an easy time to be unemployed not matter what your age or educational background. And with this latest slap in the face, I'm starting to feel like I hit rock bottom.

And rock bottom is not a place that I'm familiar with. I've never walked in these shoes before....well, maybe close, but at those times, I could blame someone else for why I was where I was. This time I can only blame myself and my own mistakes. This makes it much more of an awakening experience.

That is if you choose to use the information to ask yourself, "Why am I here?" "Why is this happening to me?" "Why does this always happen to me?" And if you can be honest with your answers then perhaps, if you are lucky, like me, you can get an glimpse of what is REALLY wrong with your life. And fix it.

The answers to these questions are different for each of us, some realize they are mean and bitter because of some past hurts and have lost all the love and kindness they need to survive in the world, other than alone. Others might realize they are addicts and finally have that moment of clarity to get clean and sober. Others might wake up and realize that they are living a lie of some kind.....with the wrong person.....or with the wrong gender. And others find religion to help them along the path of life.....that inner need to talk (pray) to someone and believe they are listening.

I was going to talk today about long distance relationships and communication and how important making yourself very clear on the internet is. And how hard that can be if you don't speak in complete sentences, and say exactly what you mean. Which I know my friends and family do with me, but i get the feeling that many more of you use the internet shorthand to express yourself, probably more than you should. As a writer I can't tell you how much this pisses me off. So stop it. LOL OMG! BRB.

But instead I decided that if I was going to talk about communication I think the most important communication that can go on is the communication you have with yourself. Listen to that little voice in your head that you ignore. It might be telling you exactly what you need to hear to be truly happy not only in your life, but with yourself.

Make yourself your best friend, NOT your worst enemy. Love yourself first, and love will find you. This is what we should be saying to ourselves: No more self-destructive paths, no more 'oh but I can fix you', no more believing that I somehow deserve to be treated this way, no more procrastination, no more feeling trapped by past decision.

This is my life, and I only get one that I can remember. I'm living it. Are you?

1 comment:

  1. HERE HERE!! I am currently trying to live my life this way and my GOD is it difficult. One day at a time, just one day at a time.