Sunday, June 13, 2010

A Fidgeting Mind is as Telling as Fidgeting Hands, or Feet.

I'm a mover, and shaker, and I don't mean that in the terms of big business. I mean it in the terms of body language. If you know me in real life, or follow this blog, you know I'm big on what people say, how to use your right words, as the goblins in Labyrinth remind us. But as a writer and trained observer of people, I am also quite aware of others, and hopefully, my own, body language. And I've read enough articles on body language and how to change it, to make myself seem more approachable or open, and in most cases is does work to change my mind set.

But like I said, I'm a mover and a shaker. Even in moments of quite, watching a movie or reading a book, it seems like I need to have some part of my body moving. Fidgeting if you will. My body part of choice is usually my right foot. (I know, great opportunity to plug a fab Daniel Day Lewis movie here, and I don't do it even for creative process...oh well, I'm honest here.)

Now I use to blame this completely on nerves. "I'm just a nervous person" or "I should have been a percussionist....always moving" But I've come to realize, that it's not nerves so much as being uncomfortable with the situation that I'm in when I start to fidget. How did I come to this unique understanding? I'll tell you. Chatting on line. Yep. You heard it here first. Chatting on line.

Now when I'm chatting, I'm sometimes nervous or uncomfortable with the topic or question that has been posed to me, and my fingers are already typing, and fidgeting, so my foot can take the day off. But I realized that my MIND also fidgets. I stall when not go with my gut....or I'm thinking too much. I'd like to believe that this is me learning how to phrase what I say before I say it. To finally learn that others feelings are more important than my own, and even when typing--words can wound--sometimes forever.

But I don't think I'm that cool. I realized, that the nervousness that accompanies my foot, subtle as it is, is partnered with a small little itch in my brain that is uncomfortable, and screaming to change the subject, or just don't start a debate with this one, because it will not end well. And I have discovered my mind fidgets. Who knew? So as my body language is starting to become less obvious that something is amiss, my mind is taking control of that.

And while I look more confident, now I don't sound it anymore. Not sure which was better. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.

1 comment:

  1. rings too, you play with your rings too. I know this because I also do it ;-) OH, I found my rings and I forget if I told you that. Love you.