Sunday, April 4, 2010

This Feeling Right Here

This feeling right here.....this one....the one that makes it so difficult to stop crying, and focus. The one that I'm hiding. The one that I've put on the back burner to simmer. I tried to throw it out, but I can't waste it. It's too good a connection to waste, but the more I hide the emotion, the more I try to pretend that it's just not there, the more I feel the real connection fading. I'm fading from his life, and he is allowing it. I don't believe that he misses me or loves me anymore.

I put my feelings away as a survival technique, not because I wanted to, or want to now. But to be his friend, I have to.

This feeling right here.....this one....this is why I don't let anyone in. This is why I stopped trying.

I'm so sick of trying when I can't keep anyone I love. Why let anyone in?

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