Being bored with my life has put me on the path of trying to entertain myself....This can be a challenge. And while I'm usually pretty good at enjoying my own company, I find of late a feeling that I just want more.
I spent most of my life surrounded by too much love, and consequently wasting it. Squandering the gifts that were given to me, the paths that I might have walked. As I look to what i have now, which is a great abundance of friends and family. You couldn't ask for more loyal ones. I find myself without that special someone...alone, at a time of my life where I want to be with someone more than any other.
And yet even with the recent offers that, honestly have been very flattering, and one in particular, was so tempting I think I may have temporarily lost my mind. Instead of getting back out there and trying to find that special person, I find myself just wanting to hide. Perhaps it's because I feel I've already found him, that I'm not looking. It's a puzzle.
I know it's a mistake, but do you think that it's possible to convince yourself that you feel a certain way? Even if it's not real? To completely hide an emotion, because it's either too painful to feel, or it's a complete waste of time?
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