Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Philosophy of Absolutely!

During my recent sales school, I was fortunate enough to make some really great friends and colleagues that I know I will continue to remain in contact with.  Coming up with nicknames for them all has been very difficult.  There was The Writer (where is your first chapter!?), and the Misplaced New Yorker (it's the ahhhhhh at the end that gets me), the one that was so much like my ex-mom-in-law that I've called her Marge II, (she even sounds like her, especially when she was reminding me of my self worth.) and of course, One Who is NOT Jessica, (he's special....bless him), and The Bucket Man (don't ask).

The Bucket Man seemed to bond with everyone in class, including a group that I like to call The Boys.  The Philosophy of Absolutely comes from a couple of The Boys, Jose and The Small Giant were discussing this and of course I immediately found it useful and spread it to the rest of The Boys and my main peeps.  It goes something like this:

When you are in a situation and someone asks you a really stupid question, rather than let yourself go, and cock off with that rapier wit, or look at them like their mother must have dropped them on their heads once too often, just let a beaming smile cross your lips and say in a confident tone of voice, "Absolutely!"  This frees you up to rip them a new one in your mind, instead of out loud, OR (more importantly) see what direction they want to steer the conversation.  This last part can make any situation innocent on your part.

I looked at them with some confusion, as my 'sharp wit' usually wins out, and asked for further explanation, as I'm sure you are doing right now.   He further explained how he is always being approached by women with 'one thing on their mind', and even though he wears a ring, is often asked the very stupid question, "Are you married?"  You can see where this is going, right?  Just think of the opportunities that you may have missed by answering that simple question with a 'yes' or smart-ass response.  When a simple "Absolutely" and a smile, puts it right back on her.  And of course I'm thinking....or him in my case...hum....this could be used for much mischief and evil.  My interest was peeked.  I immediately started using it.  And it changed no only my life, but the way others perceive me.

For example:  At the hotel, I needed to borrow the trolley to get my bags down to my car in one trip. So I asked the desk clerk, "Can I borrow this?" and she said, "As long as you bring it back."  And before my rapier wit could lash out at her with what was running through my head.....I smiled confidently and said, "Absolutely."   And she smiled.  As if to say, 'See someone gets my sick sense of humor.'  Because what I was thinking was, "NO, you dumb bitch, I'm going to put this in the trunk of my car and drive off."  But this attitude will not win me friends.

As the next few days in class went on, I noticed more and more of us were saying , "Absolutely" not only to the teacher but each other, and the smiles were quite contagious.   I can't wait to use it on my favorite dumb question of all time, "Do you know how fast you were going?" ...... "Absolutely"

Cheers.  :)

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