Sunday, February 20, 2011

And I Promised Myself I Wouldn't Do This. . .

So for those of you that know me well, you know that I don't really hold much stock in my daily horoscope or reading my tarot cards.  I do them mostly to see how wrong they are, or for fun, or occasionally for insight.  However, when my horoscope, tarot cards and dreams are all pointing in the same direction, I figure it's time to sit up and listen.  So here goes.

Last night I read a quote from someone that I immediately hated.  Not because it was poorly written, but because it was a painful truth. And we all hate those, don't we?  It was:  "We accept the love we think we deserve."- Stephen Chobosky

And I thought to myself, what if when the best thing comes along we deny it to ourselves because we somehow believe that we don't deserve it, or it could not possibly be real, or the worst, that it couldn't last for us, because nothing ever does.   HOW TRAGIC that line of thought.  HOW SELF DEFEATING.  How it KEEPS your low self esteem on a high boil instead of letting it simmer down into nothing.

Then I read another quote that reminded me of a special person that I know, and filled my already full blown romantic, full moon infused heart, to overflowing.  And with the fluffy white stuff, complete with occasional thunder, coming out of the clouds this morning, I am further pushed into a soft, quite, mental state of, "What if. . .", "Why not. . . ", and "If not now when. . . ".   As Yoda would say, "Dangerous, this path is."

Then the best quote fell into my lap and I'm sharing it with you all because I believe it will help you as it helped me to understand that what I feel is not crazy, unjustified, or unreturned.  It's from Bob Marley.  READ IT.  Even if you know it, Bob Marley is good for the soul.

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around.  You tell them things that you have never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more.  You share your hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments that life has thrown at you.  When something wonderful happens you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.  They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting, or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself.  Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.  There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only quiet calmness when they are around.  You can be yourself and not worry what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.  The things that seem insignificant to most people, a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.  Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again.  Colors seem brighter and more brilliant.  Laughter seems a part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all.  A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face.  In their presence there is no need for continuous conversation but you find that you are quite content just having them nearby.  Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.  You think of this person on every occasion and in everything that you do.  Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind, or even a storm cloud on the horizon.  You open your heart knowing that there is a chance that it may be broken one day, and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.  You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you.  You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end.  Life seems completely different, exciting, worthwhile.   Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life." - Bob Marley.

Think about it.

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