Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Connection is STILL everything that happened.....
And it was a first for me. I'd met friends through friends before. And had 'collisions' with them before...But not on the first meeting. This was New. And New is good. New was going to help me forget my best friend with benefits that just got married. And while New tried very hard to do that, it was not what I had hoped. And it left me more frustrated than satisfied, although we did give it the old college try, for hours. And with everything we tried,. everywhere we tried, it only made me miss my my main connection even more. He was in my mind the entire time, and probably the reason I was frustrated.

It just wasn't sitting well with either of us. And by this morning we had agreed to be friends and hoped that we would both find someone we could connect with, because with the right person, we were sure it was awesome.

How adult of us.

So this event instead of helping me erase my connection with my best friend with benefits, just reaffirmed that connection, and made me realize how special our connection truly is. As I sit here, finally home from my misadventure, tired, not as hung over as I thought I would be, and wondering how to fill up my day, I can't stop thinking about him, and feel him thinking about me. I haven't spoken to him in three days. That's a long time for us, and not talking daily is something we have not done for months. And while I miss him and long to hear from him, I guess I'm a little nervous to hear from him as well. I don't want him to be different or distant, but I fear he will be, now that he is married.

And if that happens, I'm not sure how I'll take it. Especially in light of last nights misadventure.

The connection is still everything, and as he is so fond of reminding me, 'And that's not changing.'

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