Sunday, July 11, 2010

The future influences the present just as much as the past.

While reading this today I couldn't help but think of my present situations and wonder just how true this statement is. For those of you that know me, you know that I tend to relive the past. . . a lot. And while I do this with good memories for the rush, and bad memories for the lessons, I know it influences my present.

But lately I've been given three 'future' options in the romance department. Very interesting and very unexpected options. Well two of the three are interesting, one of them is just not an interesting enough option to me to go there, and if he actually offers more then just a mid life crisis text message, I'll let him know that road was closed at the divorce. And for the record he's only interested in me when I'm interested in someone he somehow senses that I'm interested in someone else is better left unexplained. (I don't talk to him, so he can't know) And if I start talking about past lives and connections you'll think I'm bonkers. . .well more bonkers than you already do. :D (Three For One - 341)

But I mention him at all because when my romantic live erupts all over me, it usually happens in threes. Kind of like death happening in threes. (there goes my morbid sense of humor again)

And so now I'm thinking about two future options, and honestly one is a much better fit, and I feel a much stronger connection with, but for him a harder decision to make me reality. The other, might not be as hard a decision, but still a hard choice and the connection is not as strong. But well, it's me, so it's complicated.

Apparently it can never be easy in this life for me romantically. . . and my future options I find are keeping me thinking about my past and when this happened before, back in the 80's. The choices I made then, in the end proved to be the wrong choices, hence the divorce. Now I find myself saying the old adage, "Life gives you the opportunity to make the same mistake twice."

Here is where it gets hard for me. . . I see the similarities, in the two choices I'm contemplating, with the two choices I had in the past. . . and life is saying. . . okay, you thought it was hard with just the one you are in love with. . . now we will get down to it, and you can try to do this the right way this time.

Funny. Fate is funny. Only which is the right way? Only the future will tell. Good thing I'm patient.

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